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Moving Mom to a Senior Community and Feelings of Guilt

A senior woman and her adult daughter smile for a picture.

As mom ages, you may face many hard decisions. Often, the decision to move her to a senior living community is one of them. It’s perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions – including moments of guilt. As you both adjust to your new normal, remember that you’re not alone in your feelings. And, use these common scenarios to refocus on the positives when moving mom to a senior community.

I don’t want to abandon her.

It’s normal to worry about feelings of abandonment. However, this is not at all what you’ve done. Your decision to move to a senior living community was made out of love and concern for mom’s well-being. You’ve actually shown how much you care by getting her the support she deserves. You’ll still have many special moments together at her new place. Remember to focus on the great care she’s receiving and the new relationships she’s forming.

I feel guilty that I’m not always patient.

You can only take care of mom if you’re taking care of yourself as well. Often, when we lose our patience with a loved one, it’s because we simply need a break. With an elderly parent, this is especially true. Navigating care decisions, changes in health, dementia, and other concerns can be difficult. And, both of you are only human. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, worrying and feeling guilty doesn’t help the situation; taking better care of yourself does.

I spend less time with her than before.

Especially if mom has been living with you, spending less time together may feel strange. However, you can still stay connected even if your amount of time together has changed. Instead of feeling guilty, focus on how you can remain involved in mom’s daily life. Ask questions. Schedule regular visits. Get to know her new routine. Often, mom will enjoy living nearby others like her. Spending time trying new activities or making new friends will truly enrich her life.

I feel like I’m failing her in some way.

It’s common to have feelings of failure before and after moving mom to a community. Some may feel like they weren’t a good enough caregiver. Others may feel like they’re breaking a promise to keep mom at home for as long as possible. Even more, you may be tempted to compare your situation to others. Remember that you made the best decision to care for mom. If a community provides her the best care, then you’ve succeeded in protecting and supporting her well-being.

As you and mom adjust to her new community, it’s likely that any feelings of guilt will slowly go away. At Signature Pointe, we’re here to guide you both through the transition to senior living. We offer independent living, assisted living and memory care apartments. Learn more about our community and how we can make it as stress-free – and guilt-free – as possible.

Call 972-726-7575 and let us help you navigate this journey.